Posts (page 2)
First day back at work after 13 uninterrupted days of holiday, and I come bearing tons of cookies. I am a baker. So sue me. Anyhow, no one is eating my cookies. NO ONE. Female, anyway. Everyone is on a diet, whether for a wedding, an inauguration ball, or sheer crankiness. This is not helping me with my cookie surfeit.
Does this sound wrong to anyone but me?
Because WishBear asked me to show her pictures of today's ill-conceived baking, I give you:
That's right, gingerbread cookies. Cookies and snowflakes. And royal icing. I'm not sure my hand blender will ever recover. I'm doing it in the spirit of the holidays, and the fact that the only day I'm working this week is tomorrow. I don't know why I didn't manage to take tomorrow off as well, but whatever. I made lunch plans, I made cookies. Blergh. Everything was made from scratch, and now it all hurts. You would too after an afternoon/evening of baking. Miss my whinging, don't you?
More pictures before I go comatose:
Having a window by my desk is completely unproductive for work. Half the time, I'm just staring straight into the building across the street (50 feet if I were to wager a guess), doing my best impression of Jimmy Stewart in Rear Window. My favorite is Solitaire/Free Cell man. He's barely in the office, and when he is, he's playing games on his computer. Not the fun ones, just the ones that come with Windows. The untraceables. Smart man. Or not so smart man...because his office space is the same size as mine.
Anyhow, last week he was also the cause for my consternation. In his office was a life-size cardboard cut-out of Barack Obama. He was facing out, so ostensibly, there was a man constantly staring at me from my peripheral vision. That's a smiling 6'2" man. A much of a cutie as the man is, it's disconcerting after day 2. I was even contemplating ordering one for myself (a friend whipped out his iphone during dinner to find this information for me -- show off), when the faux!Bama disappeared on Friday. To get one now would just be petty.
And now I have gesticulating girl in the empty office. She's been standing in one of the empty offices talking on her cell phone for about twenty minutes now. Go office productivity! (Also see: me writing up this blog entry.) Bygones. Why do people gesticulate when they're talking on the phone? No one can see them (except the voyeur across the way), and no one can appreciate the wild hand movements. I'm sure I've been guilty of this myself, but I'm very puzzled.
Hmm. She's gone. This only leaves me with girl eating microwaveable meal in the wee kitchen on 3. Bored.
*sigh*
I am happy.
because why else would an old fella, oddly reminiscent of santa, try to pick me up at the grocery store last night? imagine me, in sweats post-gym visit, lumbering around the produce section trolling for effing apples. ps, i bought about a dozen. imagine him, of full white beard, of tummy full of jelly, with a cart full of dairy products, giving a whole load of tmi after starting off a friendly conversation about apples. what can i say? my defenses were weak: i'd just walked/jogged/elipticalled 3 miles. i hadn't eaten dinner yet. it was 930. i was asking for trouble, wasn't i?
i thought only stupid young kids shopped that late. aren't all the deviant old men supposed to be at the public library? and is it wrong to assume that your local neighborhood market is meant to be safe, especially since i'm in the burbs? is this my naïveté talking?
if christmas wasn't ruined for me before, it is now.
the other day i woke up and i was freezing. i'd slept with the window open, and the floors were so cold i had to dig underneath my bed for my slippers. okay, so this isn't anything special, but it was peculiar to me because just the day before, i had gone out in a sleeveless sundress.
i ended up sitting in bed and just gawking at the mess that was my room. gawking because i was swathed in my faux-down comforter. gawking because my chaise longue was covered in bright tank tops and gauzy dresses and a couple wool sweaters, which should have said something about where the weather was heading. the global warming is making my wardrobe schizophrenic. i can't fully switch out my summer clothes for fall/winter clothes, and i think my closet is fighting back. i foresee trouble with my wardrobe this year...at least if my body survives this insanely mercurial weather.
also in wardrobe news, i bought two new pairs of shoes, and one of them, the cuter of the two, is fighting with me today. they have ravaged my feet so that i'm hobbling all over the office. i'm suddenly talking to people i'd otherwise breeze by because i need to make a rest stop. so pathetic.
imagine these in a lemon yellow. and you have today's frenemy. why are flats so angry? why can't they just be comfortable? they're not stilettos, for mercy's sake. i refuse to be beaten by a pair of unassuming shoes. i refuse. so the campaign continues.
bugger.
eta.
oh, and ps, i totally forgot to tivo tar last night. were there not kind angels that uploaded the episode to the interweb last night, i couldn't have watched a couple get philiminated this morning! negligence! but in happy news: missing the show was a good thing, because i discovered tar: asia! tar: asia! asian!phil is surprisingly phil-like, and the people are a hoot. dood! score! now i have to find the two previous seasons plus watch the current season, which is two episodes ahead of tar. huzzah! this is better than discovering project runway canada, even. i kid you not.
I'm sure everyone's seen this video, but if you haven't, do. It made me giggle insensibly. And I kind of want to be this cat, or at least be as cool.
How the Omnivore's 100 Works:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional: Post a comment at Very Good Taste, linking to your results.
My Omnivore’s Hundred:
1. Venison – [And watched it get cleaned and cut up by a roadside vendor…]
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros – [I didn’t work at a Mexican restaurant fer nuthin’.]
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile – [Mmm, sketchy soup in rundown shack restaurant!]
6. Black pudding – [Not for lacking for trying.]
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho – [Has anyone else ever ODed on the stuff?]
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses – [I love cheese, but it doesn’t love me.]
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes – [Bonus: moonshine!]
19. Steamed pork buns – [I would argue that steamed chicken buns are as good if not better.]
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn or head cheese – [I was eating the stuff for years before I ever knew what it was. Uncool.]
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper – [I’ll try it one day…perhaps when I’m ready to never eat again.]
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters – [Contemplating it for dinner, actually…]
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl – [Faneuil Hall, I love you.]
33. Salted lassi – [I prefer sweet.]
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar – [I prefer whisky.]
37. Clotted Cream Tea
38. Vodka Jelly/Jell-O – [Bonus: Everclear!]
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat – [Sampled, not actually a full meal of it.]
42. Whole insects – [Accidental and on purpose!]
43. Phaal
44. Goat's milk – [Only as cheese and ice cream. Does that count?]
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth $120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin – [All time fave nigiri.]
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV – [But my preference usually runs around 4-5% ABV.]
59. Poutine – [One day, precious heart attack courting food. One day.]
60. Carob chips – [Never again. It’s not an acceptable substitute for chocolate!]
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian – [Responsible for one of all-time fave desserts. Durian custard over sweet sticky rice. Mmmm.]
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe – [Also had without dilution. Oh my god, (maybe) never again.]
74. Gjetost or brunost
75. Roadkill – [Iffy, because this could go back to the venison in item one. I didn’t kill it off the side of the road, but that dude totally did, even if it was with a bow and arrow and not a vehicle.]
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang Souchong – [Is warm in my French press on my desk! Is it weird to keep loose leaves in my desk drawer at work?]
80. Bellini
81. Tom Yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky – [Also in desk drawer, one below lapsang.]
84. 3 Michelin Star Tasting Menu – [I wish. I eye them occasionally because it’s better to drool over food than to work.]
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare – [It looks much less cruel when you can it this rather than a fluffy bunny.]
87. Goulash
88. Flowers – [Has anyone ever had one that tasted like something?]
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa [Not of the rose variety, but yes to the regular sort.]
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake – [I really ought to have said no when some of this shit (all exotic meats on this list) were offered to me. Stupid going home and eating whatever they make…]
77/78 out of 100 ain’t bad. Wow, I just ate up half an hour of work. Awesome.
I've been gasping a lot lately. This is not just gasping for breath because my chubby self can't deal with steep gradients; this is gasping out of disbelief. Shock, awe, surprise, whatever. I thought I was good at shuttering my reactions, but I think I've given up. Things that have made me gasp lately:
1. Lehman Brothers filing for Chapter 11. Are they kidding me? What happened, whiz kids? At this rate I won't be taking another vacation until 2012.
2. That girl on ANTM -- holla Liz -- comparing a group of girls asking if she was racist, to gang rape. Yes. Think on that one.
3. Having a metal object drop from the ceiling near my desk. I could have been beaned. Workman's COMP! Okay, it was ten feet away, but it was very noisy.
4. Megan getting tazed on Privileged. OMG I need a tazer.
5. Seeing the costs of tasting menus at two restaurants I want to dine at: CityZen and Citronelle. I initially recoiled, but I was clearly starting to go nutty when I started rationalizing (five minutes later) that $110 for six courses was almost affordable! That's less than $20 a course! You pay more for a steak at Ray's The Steak! Yeah, it didn't hold water. See item 1.
6. Having a boy latch onto me from behind like a baby koala while in a pool. That just doesn't happen everyday.
I'm sure there are more recent gasp-worthy events, but I'm just too darn wiped out. I'm red-eyed and barely surviving on my green gunk smoothie. Maybe this calls for a cupcake break? And why are there so many cupcake places in DC?
*sigh* I was scared into driving to work today because I caught wind of the bus strike today and thought it would hurt my commute. One bus every hour on the hour is just madness. But it doesn't affect me after all. Perhaps this hurts The Lorelei?
